why

When I was fifteen and developed an eating disorder, I felt very alone. There were a lot of things I felt at the time, but I'm not going to go into depth on my feelings right now. Although doctors and my friends and parents tried to be there for me, they often made it worse because they simply didn't understand how to relate to me. It wasn't until later that I met in person other people like me - other sufferers, who had often suffered alone as I had. However, after a little bit of searching, I realized I was not alone. Others like me connected, as they had been connecting for years, through the internet. LiveJournal, though it certainly isn't what it used to be, was a hub for our kind. YouTube was filled with "thinspo" videos that we could model ourselves in the constant pursuit to be "beautiful" - or, more often, just "skinny."

We are the world. We're the rich and the poor, the black and the white and the native Americans and the French and the Polish and the Japanese and the Guatemalans. We're the students - students in junior or senior high school, students in college or vocational school, students in medical or law school, students of the world and human experience. We're boys and girls and men and women. And the internet pulls us together and helps us experience our difficulties together.

I'm sorry how grandiose and pretentious that all sounded. I read a lot of peoples' food blogs and they inspire me and make me think, and I want to have that same effect on somebody else, maybe.

It may also be of note that the current medications I'm on have started to have noticeable effects on my written communication skills, my reading comprehension, and my both long and short term memory. This is regrettable, but they keep me stable. As such, I apologize in advance if this makes little sense or is difficult to read.